What is happening

I hope they give us two weeks notice before sending us back out into the real world. I think we'll all need the time to become ourselves again. And by "ourselves" I mean lose 10 pounds, cut our hair, and get used to not drinking at 9:00 a.m.

New monthly budget: Gas $0, Entertainment $0, Clothes $0, Groceries $2,799.

Breaking News: Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not so much to stop COVI D-19, but to stop eating.

When this quarantine is over, let's not tell some people.

I stepped on my scale this morning. It said: "Please practice social distancing. Only one person at a time on the scale."

Not to brag, but I haven't been late to anything in over 8 weeks.

It may take a village to raise a child, but I swear it's going to take a vineyard to home school one.

You know those car commercials where there's only vehicle on the road? Doesn't seem so unrealistic these days.

They may open things up next month -- I'm staying in until July to see what happens to you all first.

Day 56: The garbage man placed an AA flyer on my recycling bin.

Appropriate analogy: "The curve is flattening, so we can start lifting restrictions now. Or could it be..... "The parachute has slowed our rate of descent, so we can take it off now."

People keep asking: "Is coronavirus REALLY all that serious?" Listen y'all, the churches and casinos are closed. When heaven and hell agree on the same thing, it's probably pretty serious.

Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask and ask for money.

I am home schooling. Then first day I tried to get this kid transferred out of my class. Okay, so the schools are closed. Do we drop the kids off at the teacher's house?

For the second part of this quarantine do we have to stay with the same family or will they relocate us? Asking for myself....

Coronavirus has turned us all into dogs. We wander around the house looking for food. We get told "No!" if we get too close to strangers. We get really excited about going for walks and car rides.

I was in a long line at 7:45 am today at the grocery store that opened at 8:00 for seniors only. A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane. He returned and tried to cut in again, but an old man punched him in the gut, then kicked him to the ground and rolled him away. As he approached the line for the 3rd time he said, "If you people don't let me unlock the door, none of you will ever get in to shop."

And now a little more levity to help you pass the time. Everything on your car now works, it has a spitshine on it, there is nothing more to do....the grass has been cut for the third time this week......so sit back and watch a few cute videos to lighten your day.

cRc members, just remember that during these uncertain times that: CROOKS ARE EVERYWHERE!

POSTED SUNDAY APRIL 19 -

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We sent our pet guinea pig to shop for us....properly protected of course. He (or is it she, we can't tell) bought a lot of sunflower seeds and lettuce. I must remind myself to get him or her to the day spa as soon as it reopens - those toenails look deadly!

Life in the COVID LANE....we learn more about or spouses than perhaps we wanted to know!

And the cRc proudly presents...The lighter side of face mask making...thank you Ron Borum for finding this....what a hoot!

And on April 16th with nothing more important to do......we bring you 15 minutes of something important to do. The 3rd John Krasinski SOME GOOD NEWS episode. ENJOY

Take a break from "GROUNDHOG DAY" and work this little puzzle below:

From Oklahoma, Q: What, if any, precautions should be taken by pregnant women? A: It’s too late, you should have taken precautions before.

And from California, Q: How should I treat packages? Is it possible to transmit the virus through the mail? A: Are you kidding? The virus dies in the open in two days, when have you ever known the post office to deliver something in less than two days?

• I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe. 💩

• I need to practice social distancing from the refrigerator! 🍗

• Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom. 👖

• Homeschooling is going well; 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

• I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks, we'd go from Central Standard Time to the Twilight Zone. ⏰

• This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog... We laughed a lot. 😹

• So, after this quarantine... Will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them? ⚖️

• Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is stays in business. 👨‍🍳

• Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat. I'm so Excited!

• It's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear? 👠

• I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.

• Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.

I'm so bored I went outside to knock on my front door, then I came back inside to ask, "who is it?"

Just when you thought you had seen it all, from Franklin, Kentucky comes this most innovative way to continue to social distance AND attend Easter church services......at a former drive-in theater! Note the sharp 1957 Chevy Nomad in the foreground.

Yes these are real eggs and done by an artist in Toronto.

Mine barely looked like Easter eggs much less like that!

April 11th - we are pleased to bring you the second episode of SGN SOME GOOD NEWS by former "Office" actor Jim Krasinski..... spoiler alert...it is hard to keep from tearing up as he makes this little girl's dream come true. Yes it is the original cast zooming in.

Latest cartoons posted April 10, 2020

“Easter doesn’t feel at all exciting this year, probably because I’ve spent the last three weeks driving around looking for eggs already,” Jimmy Kimmel said.

Posted April 7th - back about 2005-2013 there was a very popular TV show called THE OFFICE, which featured a bunch of wacky characters working at DUNDER-MIFFLIN a fictictional paper company in Scranton. One of the lead actors was Jim Halpert, who in real life is Jim Krasinski. When the Covid virus shut down the world, Jim created a weekly youtube show titled SGN, about 11 minutes long, dedicated to "SOME GOOD NEWS", which he proceeds to find around the world and report. And so the cRc proudly presents during times when you are bored and have already finished pruning all the shrubs and trees. The first episode of SGN.........some good news.

"DO YOU KNOW WHY THERE IS NO BASEBALL IN CHINA?"

"NO WHY?"

"BECAUSE THEY KEEP EATING ALL THE BATS!"

(As told to Dave Saunders by Janice Bane of Norman...)

Well here we are, all in this COVID-19 boat together, like it or not. Leave it to the vast resources of the cRc news department to come up with a little lighthearted look at what is going on in the world today. When you are at your most bored, after you have rebuilt every old carburetor in your shop, swept it for the 27th time, and have waxed your classic so much, you think you notice the primer peeking through - but even the primer has a nice glossy finish so I'll just put one more coat of wax on the old baby tomorrow....

Posted Sunday, April 5th -